I wasn’t planning on blogging today, or even writing about this subject in general. But something inside me just had to get this out, a need to tell someone – anyone. Not for justification or validation, but because my heavy heart has been lifted & I feel a great love & passion inside me and I want to tell people that God works in mysterious ways.
I grew up not really knowing much about the Bible. I only knew that there is God and there is Satan, a heaven & a hell. Everything else in between just wasn’t there to me. We never really attended church & I never thought about anything else that included such.
As years past, I went to live a very sinful life at a young age. Now, I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve done/did – but I own it all & I grew from it. I also lost people very dear to me, making me question the very existence of God.
Because of my past habits, I have extreme anxiety. Well, I’ve always had anxiety – my choices in life just made it worse. I grew up also suffering from PTSD & MDD but that’s a different story to tell.
I just grew very disconnected, I had a void in my life that I needed to be filled & of all the things that I thought would fill it – I was left just as empty as I begun.
I feel like God had began to work on me a few months ago. I’m a very very lucid dreamer, I also go under sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis is where you wake up in the middle of REM & you have no control over muscle movements. So you’re wide awake, unable to move or even scream. It’s pretty terrifying.
One night, I woke up -it was sleep paralysis & I was struggling – I wanted to scream and run away but I felt like I was drowning. I was being weighed down by someone/something and I literally thought that it was the end until I just felt this light come over me. I was no longer afraid, I felt lifted. It was the strangest most peaceful feeling I’ve ever felt in my life. I just felt safe, like God himself came & saved me. I’ll never forget it.
A few nights ago, I woke up again in the early morning – 5 am to be exact. But not from sleep paralysis this time – from a man in my dream – I recall the name Micheal coming to me & I remember him grabbing my wrist saying, “Melissa, wake up. Your heart is beating over 200 beats per minute. You need your medicine” & I just woke up. Not thinking anything of it. Then I got curious, I started googling “angels, micheal” & what do you know. Archangel Micheal was once known as the angel of healing.
I don’t know, it may just be “all in my head”, but I just can’t believe that. It felt SO real.
I’m basically writing this to let people know that, if you ever felt lost – you’re not. HE knows where you are at all times. You may not understand the circumstances of what you’re going through in life, but HE does have a plan for you. You may pray & pray & pray and hear nothing, but you should feel comfort in HIS silence because he’s working through you in mysterious ways. Just have faith. HE’S there & HE loves you & so do i.
mommygoneprimal 